You vex me…especially in the afternoons when I wake up from a nap.

You are okay in the morning…but once that sun glow from the window is gone, replaced by the ugly artificial light, man, your mean streak comes out.

Hey, I do my best with what is given to me. I can only do so much…and btw, shouldn’t YOU be taking care of the streaks?

Okay, so, the streaks are my fault, but... do you have to make it so damned obvious that I don’t look my best, geesh…

Maybe you should try a better beauty regimen.  Sorry to burst your bubble, but the $3 jar of Ponds isn’t doing the trick. Didn’t you say you were going to look into that new hydrating eye cream?

Sigh…I just wish you didn’t make me so haggard looking.  You expose my every wrinkle, my every blemish, my every crease. Where did the fresh faced girl of yesteryear go? Where is she?

Er…she’s long gone, that’s for sure.

Jerk.  Your pal downstairs doesn’t treat me as bad as you, you know.

Sigh, look Rose…none of us is getting any younger.  I don’t clean up as well as I used to myself.  A quick rub with a paper towel used to do the trick, but now it takes more elbow grease…and all of my blemishes STILL don’t disappear.  You are to blame, though…a wipe with a tissue isn’t going to do the trick.

Hmmm…I wonder if you treat Chris this way…

Of course not. He doesn’t take up 15 minutes of my time combing his hair and another 15 putting on make up…I don’t even want to get into your bedtime routine, uggghhh…I’m just going to keep my mouth shut. He doesn’t keep his mouth shut about this, though…hehehehehehehehe…

Will a new light bulb help?

I think we’ve tried that route... 

Maybe I need to accept the cold, hard reality that is aging.  I shall expect no more sympathy from you then.  It is what it is…

“It is what it is…” Hmm…I heard from a CNN story on your television that this is one of the most overused and moronic phrases of the past few years. Be more creative, eh? And please keep the volume on that thing down; you both are going to go deaf...

We don’t use the upstairs TV much, so shush it already. 

(Shushes It)

I guess I will have to accept all the ugliness you show me: the blotched skin, the growing cheeks, the sad, sagging look in the eye (well, this has actually followed me since my childhood years…the sad look in my eye). 

There ARE a few things you could do to, you know, feel better…

And what is that, Mr. Just-because-he-sees-it-he-thinks-he-knows-it-all?

I’m sincerely trying to help here…

Okay, what is it?

Well…maybe you should try smiling more.  You have a decent smile.  Your sweetheart always tells you so.  It’s not perfect, but it “Lights up your whole face,” as he says. And I, uh, well, reluctantly agree.  I do see it now and then.

Awww, how sweet…

 Whatever. Another thing...stop your slouching.  Pick up those shoulders and stand tall.  Start your day believing you are going to conquer it, instead of thinking it might chew you up and spit you out.

Well, I do slouch sometimes, but

And you need to stop worrying so much.  That incessant anxiety has caused those deep furrows between your brows, you know? Also, what do you say about getting some more shut eye? A good night’s sleep would do wonders for you. Five or six hours is not doing the trick, babe.

I long for a restful sleep. 

 Just…don’t be so hard on yourself.  No one is perfect.  Just be you...be the best you.

I’ll try.

Don’t “try”, just do.

Maybe I’ll start right now.  I'm gonna go on and head to bed.  Thanks…for the advice.

No problem.

I promise to give you a sunny smile first thing in the morning. J

I’ll look forward to it, kid. Turn off the damned artificial light, would ya?

Oh, sure.

Well, wait…

I need to brush my teeth first.

Oh, boy.

And floss…and wash my face.  I’ll try not to take too long.

I’ve heard that one before…

Don’t start getting all cranky on me, ok? I said I won’t take long.  Oh, I’ve also got to try to take this stubborn mascara off.  Where is my cold cream?

I feel for you, Chris…